The Spider Spasm

The Spider Spasm

THE SPIDER SPASM… As I have mentioned, not all Spider Spasms have a documented, and written in stone, name. Some Spider Spasms are created at the precise moment that the Spaz occurs. It is important however, that the individual engaging in the spaz, do his or her best to remember every movement that the body makes, beginning with the spastic facial expressions, arm flaps, leg kicks, the sounds made during the spaz, and ending with the final position that the body comes to rest in when spaz has come to a complete and total stop. It is also highly beneficial to the credibility of the individual naming the spaz, if he or she has a witness that can attest that the spaz in question is truthful and correct. I pride myself for having named several Spider Spasms. My most recent was born of ignorance on my part. A friend was telling me that my spider worries were over for at least the duration of winter, as Spiders will not be in ” season” during the cold spell’s. I believed her. So later in the week, filled with confidence, I walked outside to the wood pile to bring in wood for the fire. I load up my arms, stand up and catch detectable movement on the piece of wood closest to my face! Crawling towards my bare arm was the star of the 1956 motion picture “TARANTULA”! ( As I have also made mention, fear magnifies objects, so this may have been the stand-in for the star) My eyes bugged, and the scream emitting from my voice could only be heard by dogs! My arm load of wood was thrown up and away from my body. It was most unfortunate that my husbands truck was in the line of fire of the hurling wood! As I stepped back trying to distance myself from the spider that was on the wood which was now on the truck, I tripped over the wood pile, fell backwards and rolled in dirt and wood chips, all of which stuck to me like I had stuck them there on purpose! Out of this was born “The Spider wood-chuck Huck”. You can only lay claim to this one if all steps described are followed. And that includes falling over a wood pile and ends with rolling in dirt and wood chips! I enlisted the help of my husband to retrieve the wood off his hood, and once again, as is so common in dealing with spiders, the spider had disappeared! I walked away from this experience a little wiser, a little less trusting! And from now on, the men in the family can get their own dam wood!

1 Comment

  1. Great story! You know how to write !!

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