The ” I’m too cool to Spaz, Spaz”…

The “I’m too cool to Spaz, Spaz” is seldom used by the Female Aracnaphob. This Spastic technique is a favorite among the Macho, testosterone fueled Male Aracnaphob. The title of this Spaz speaks for itself. As a rule, there are not many Men that like to admit to having a fear of Spiders, so for the male Aracnaphob, mastering this technique is a must! Typically, a scenario could play out like this; A group of men get together for a weekend in the mountains. It is a time to get acquainted with their inner Pioneer, tough as nails, dip in the lip Manhood! A time to drink beer, belch the alphabet, punch each other in the arm’s, and talk about ” The one that got away”. When suddenly, “Dirk”, a large, hulking man with man-hair covering 85 percent of his body, struts off into the woods to relieve himself. When hanging from a branch, inches from his face..a large, looming, black spider. Just dangling.. enjoying the evening breeze. Dirk let’s out a ” WOAH”, jumps back losing the grip on his lower appendage causing him to finish his business down the front of his leg! Quickly, Dirk pats himself down, making a few rapid swatting motions to his face and head, all the while trying NOT to alert his friends of his dilemma. With his mind racing, heart pounding, Dirk forms a plan to foil his friends who are now asking him, “Dude..What’s up”? Followed by belching, and ruckus laughter. Dirk emerges from the woods, and plays off the encounter by scratching himself, and pointing to the front of his pants, and tells his fellow “Dudes” that he has evidently drunk more beer than any of them, and proves this claim by pointing out the large wet spot on the front of his pants! An explosion of hearty laughter fills the evening air, and Dirk has managed to hide the fact that in truth, he was so frightened by a Spider, that he actually urinated on himself! And so, with the twisting of a bottle cap, more beer is consumed, more arms are punched, more alphabets are belched, and none are for the wiser. Smooth Dirk, very smooth…