What’s in a name?

What’s in a name? plenty! “Wolf Spider”, “Pumpkin Spider”, “Halloween Spider”, I was told they are all one in the same. I disagree. I just pulled up a picture of a Wolf Spider and it DID NOT have the big round bubble body the Halloween, Pumpkin Spider has! It look’s way more menacing that the others!! While living in New England, when I worked in my yard there were these Big Brown Spiders with a white egg sac on their back running around the mulch and the folks out that way referred to those as Wolf Spiders. Either way, they ALL make my skin crawl! So today being a stunning 78 degree day I went head first into my yard work. I was on the ground planting bulbs, pulling weeds, and laying down mulch. Out of no where, a “Wolf Spider”, “Ugly Spider”, “Spider from Hell”, ” Shit your pants if it touches you Spider”, whatever you want to call it, RAN ACROSS MY HAND!!! I tend to think this was a “Shit your pants if it touches you Spider”, because that is exactly what I did. One further, I Shit my neighbors pants! He was out side in his yard when he heard my scream. I began with the popular “Drop and Roll Spaz” which was slightly modified as I was already on the ground. Here I improvised, I pulled my hands up, jabbed them into my armpits and rolled over backwards! This was followed up with a touch of the “Shower Spaz”, because when I rolled over backwards I rolled on to the nozzle of the hose, which resulted in spraying my backside, my head, and ultimately the rest of my body with cold water! I threw in a dash of the “So scared I’m stuttering Spaz” as I tried to tell my neighbor what was happening. I just kept rolling backwards trying to put as much distance between IT and ME! I stood up, soaked, covered in dirt, chunks of mulch and grass in my hair, eyes bugged, had a few twitchy body tremors and decided my yard looked good enough for now! So call them what you will, but when one crawls across ANY part of me, I prefer to call them DEAD! So much for the yard work…